Is Faith Enough?

I feel like a lot of times I have a lazy faith, one that takes a lot and gives little. One that is self absorbed and so inward focused that my life natuarlly feels out of whack. I know it seems like an extreme because there are some people out there that never bother to take a look inside and what is going on in there, and only focus their attention outward. I have had a strong sense latley that I need a balance in my walk with Jesus.

God brought to mind the book of James and how he talked about the relationship between our faith and our works. Now let me state that I do beleve that I am saved by my faith in Jesus Christ and His grace to save me, and it is not becasue of my deeds that he saves me, but at the same time they still go together in a very intricate way.

Becasue of my love for Jesus I want it (works) to natuarlly come out of me, but that is sadly not the case. I want to see Jesus do some much in this city and in relationships, but what am I doing to activly pursue seeing those things? I watch so many people that I look up to and I see them give their time so freely to serve and love others and I want to get to that place, I need to get to that place becasue I beleive Jesus will meet me there in new ways.

I have a "Little Brother" with Big Brothers Big Sisters, and we have just started our relationship in the last few months and it has been a really tough thing for me. It is something that is way out of my comfort zone, but I felt like Jesus was asking me to do it, with much reluctence I obeyed and it is good, but hard. I want to be more active in the city with such places as The Refuge, and Cross and Crown. I want to be more active in the mission of our House Church in the Village. All these thing are things that I want deep down in my heart, and I want to do them becasue I love Jesus and need to be about giving my life away, not hording it, but in the end it is hard. In the end I work all day and come home tired and ready to veg. In the end I want the weekends to be about me and what I want and my projects.

In the end my faith becomes all about me and how I feel, so I sit at church during worship and evaluate my heart and find my love for Jesus to be present, but I also feel like He has so much more for me, that He is calling me to the front lines of what He is doing, almost like I have a valuble part to play if I would just accept that role and allow Him to lead me. I don't know, I just sense that my faith is not always enough and I need to get off the couch and get to living...get to serving. This is my prayer.